One More Day
One more day until Jodi leaves town. I’m really surprised at how upset I’m getting about it. I mean, she is a good friend and I will miss her a lot but it’s not like I’m never going to see her again. I’m walking around with a constant lump in my throat and just thinking about tomorrow brings tears to my eyes.
It really upsets me that Harrison’s best friend is leaving town. I’m pretty sure that he will have forgotten all about Wally before too long but I just feel really sad for him.
I lived in this town for years refusing to get close to anyone because it’s such a transient town and I didn’t want to make friends only to have them leave. But I was lonely, so I decided to bite the bullet and get out and about and make some new friends. Despite having been practically a hermit for the few previous years, I have always been a very social person so getting out there and meeting people wasn’t difficult for me. I was determined to make lots of friends so that when one left town I wouldn’t be devastated and lonely again. But guess what I’ve realised..It doesn’t matter how many friends you have, when I good one leaves you’re going to be just as upset as if they were your only friend in the world.
Jodi was really the first friend I made after I decided to put myself out there again and honestly she is the best new friend I have, if that makes any sense. I think what is amplifying the way that I’m feeling is that Jodi leaving symbolises failure in the theory I had created to protect myself from feeling this way. Still with me or am I rambling? Anyway, I can’t wait for tomorrow to be over so I can just deal with it and move on.
Love Kylie
Happy Birthday to Me!
33 today. I remember when I was a kid, we went to my Uncle’s 33rd birthday and I thought he was so incredibly old. Haha, I almost want to apologise. Of course now he’s almost sixty which is actually old (she don’t tell him I said that).
No big surprises for me today because I ordered myself a birthday present last week, but I did have a lovely lunch out with the girls. My wonderful sister baked me a carrot cake (my favourite) and my friends Jodi and Rain gave me some lovely perfume and earrings. My house looks like bomb hit it and it can stay like that until tomorrow. Harrison is asleep and every thing is quiet. What more can a girl ask for?
Love Kylie
Whinge whinge whinge whine whine whine
That’s all I seem to have done the last couple of posts. But seriously that’s the way it’s been lately. As far as the kids situation goes, I think hormones were a major contributor to how I was feeling at the time. Things are looking much brighter now. Still the same old crap day in day out but I’m dealing with everything with a much better perspective than I was that week.
As far as friendships go, I’m ditching all the high maintenence ones. I just don’t need that in my life. It feels like being back at highschool with all the ‘He Said She Said Bullshit’ (name that band) and I’m tired of it.
This weekend the best friend I have in this town is leaving to move to the other side of the country. It happens all the time when you live in such a transient place but that doesn’t make it any easier. Harrison will also be losing his best friend. He’s going to miss Wally so much. We had a little going away party for them here on Saturday night. I have no idea when we’re going to see them again. It will be hard considering I’m used to seeing Jodi 3 or 4 times a week. What am I going to do with myself? Guess I’ll find out next week.
Love Kylie
Dear Friend
Dear Friend,
Thank-you for a few years of wonderful friendship. For a long time now I have counted you among my closest friends but lately things are different. It seems that you have changed quite dramatically in the past few months. I don’t know you anymore or perhaps I never did.
Please understand how insulted I am by the fact that you honestly think you can confide in my sister and she won’t tell me. She is MY sister and tells me everything. You’ve known me for long enough now to know how much I hate being lied to yet you continue to do it and are naive enough to think I don’t know. You have always touted honestly and love to give your honest opinion I would love to be completely honest with you about the way I feel but I have learnt from experience that you don’t take kindly to it.
I am absolutely disgusted that you would be so irresponsible as to take drugs into the bush and take them having never done it before, when there was no one to call on for help or to help care for your children if all didn’t go according to plan. You claim that your children are your world and you would do anything for them. So how about practicing what you preach. Stop spending money on frivolous things just to keep up with the Joneses and put it towards building them a happy and stable future.
If the reason you can’t seem to spend a weekend free of substance abuse is just because you want to have ‘fun’, then I say grow up and re-read the previous paragraph. If you can’t stand being sober because you can’t be happy that way, then do something to fix the demons in your head instead of trying to drown them out.
For so long I was willing to listen and willing to help but I’m done now. I’ll be back when you’re serious about helping yourself.
Yesterday I went to my first aerobics class in literally years. I’ve been wanting to make the effort to go for a while but the thought was a bit daunting but I promised a friend of mine (who is also one of the instructors) that I would make the effort. So yesterday morning I donned my best exercise gear and off I went.
Turns out it was a Step class. I’ve never felt more unco-ordinated in my life! But I did it. I stepped my heart out for an hour. It’s going to take me a while to get the steps. I even fell over at one point when I missed the step but I didn’t care and just kept on going. Thankfully I was at the back so no-one got the privilege of having my big bum in their face. The point is I did it and it felt great. My foot is incredible sore today but I just can’t keep sitting around doing nothing so it’s just going to have to deal with it.
Love Kylie
